There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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