ugly people sure do ruin things
you have to choose: penises or morals?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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