Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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