Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
bring money and cleavage
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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