Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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