bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
