youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think I am morally bankrupt
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
