I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize