I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
third nipple confirmed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize