can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize