At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
