oh god the rape fog is back!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
