ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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