The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
