I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
