Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
True but thats because hes a fetus.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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