thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
