Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
