my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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