Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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