i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
