Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
