how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
