i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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