After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
