Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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