In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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