Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
