i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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