do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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