I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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