How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
