They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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