my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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