I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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