yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
