There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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