i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
