I got chris browned last night
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize