please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
