You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
