Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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