So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
