I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
