it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this just has baby written all over it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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