my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
