Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
