I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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