i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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