everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have post one night stand depression
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