Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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