Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize