Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
