me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
