fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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