She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
