What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
