I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just want nice things and good sex
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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