When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
