i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
