I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
