I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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