how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize