Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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