You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
