I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
