K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
